I will like to address the stress and emotional repercussions that may come along while your mind and body are trying to adapt to a new environment. I’m a psychologist by profession, that’s why I can’t help my self to analyse my own adaptation process to this country. So I thought why don’t I share some of my insights? hoping they will be useful for travelers out there who may be in a similar situation.
We made the decision of living abroad, maybe just for a few years or for the long term. So we arrived in Australia, a country full of opportunities and amazing places to explore, where immigrants are usually welcome. Even though the decision to move to another country is for positive reasons, and probably most of your experiences in Australia will be positive, the act of migration itself carries a process of grief and associated stress. Perhaps you have realised since you started living in another country that despite feeling very happy about it, (you have a job, a group of friends, and support networks that you have created in a short amount of time) you have this feeling of achievement but you can still feel sad, nostalgic, and/or irritable from time to time, for me every emotion feels a tittle bit more intense since I’ve been here. In my experience and talking with friends in the same situation, I could see that many of them went through this, and during the first months, you feel a mixture of emotions, which is why I started reading about it and I came across something called “Migratory Grief.”
Migratory Grief
Although this is a normal process, I find it useful to know the stages of migratory grief to identify these emotional states in my personal process and try to address them as they ocurre. This is only a theory among others, considere this stages may be different in each person.
Embarking on this beautiful project in search of new experiences puts our adaptability skills to the test, and in a way forces us to generate new emotional strategies. What better way to do it than consciously, so that in the future we can use those strategies again and not just let them appear instinctively.
Why is it called grief? It is because there is a loss, loss of tangible and intangible things, for example, our support networks, our home, family, friends, work, physical belongings, language, culture, etc.
Types of Grief
Multiple Grief: Unlike grief over the loss of a loved one, in this case, the loss is not of a single person but of several factors as described above.
Partial Grief: Unlike grief over the loss of a loved one, the things we lose in migratory grief still exist, they are there but we can no longer be a part of them, although in the future we could have them again if we decide to return to our country of origin, it is not an irreversible loss.
Recurrent Grief: Migratory grief is constant and is reactivated on important dates such as Christmas, birthdays of our loved ones, etc.
Many of us have two clocks on our mobile phones, the local time and the time in our country of origin. We are constantly concerned about what is happening in our country, we want to stay connected with our loved ones, and this sometimes becomes difficult, which makes us mentally here and there.
The process of migration can be bittersweet, we feel nostalgic for the people and things we miss, accompanied by happiness and hope for new opportunities. If we do the exercise of weighing the loss versus the benefits of living abroad, when the benefits are greater, the nostalgia we feel or the associated suffering should be less. Therefore, building support networks, having health insurance, setting achievable goals, making your house fill like home, are things that could contribute to our integration and proper grieving process. Nevertheless we will still be missing our home and love ones.
Stages of grief
The stages of grief are anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and finally adaptation. But the truth is that these stages do not occur in a linear way as they are described, rather we feel things from all of them at the same time, which makes them more difficult to identify. For me the best concept that describe this feelings is “rollercoaster of emotions“.
In my experience, I feel very confident and happy of the decision I made to come to Australia. When I first arrived, I felt excitement and admiration for the culture I encountered with, the safety and orderliness of the country, and how polite and friendly Australians are. Then, over time and while traveling to different cities, I began to see more things, it was no longer perfect, I had in some way passed that “honeymoon” phase, and began to see Australia and its culture more realistically, missing many qualities of my own culture.
From a physical standpoint, the body must also adjust to the change of country and it’s normal to experience hormonal, weight, digestive, skin, among others changes and difficulties. These were some of changes that I experienced. I believe that with patience and compassion towards our bodies, and generating healthy habits, little by little I have been returning to what I consider my normal state.
In summary, if you have gone or are going through a lot of changes in your body and mind, it’s normal, talk about what’s happening to you with the people around you, and if necessary, seek professional help.
